Veterans' Day is for the survivors

     This Veterans' Day, I'm thinking about my comrades in arms who survived.
     Memorial Day is for those who are no longer here.
     Civilians seem to get the two confused. One day is as important as the other; yes, Veterans' Day is as important to remember as Memorial Day, because a lot of us who came home will live out our lives thinking every day of those who did not.
     Veterans who have come home to resume some kind of normalcy are taken for granted. What you may not understand, if you have never served in uniform, particularly in times of war, or overseas for months at a time, is that the time given to military service is an ever-present part of a person forever.
     Veterans don't go on forever talking about what they might have missed while they were away. They know they gained something, too. Most of it good, some of it very bad, but all of it -- well, the saying that what does not kill you makes you stronger was probably said first by a veteran.
     Veterans are patriots, no matter what their opinions on current politics. Not all who call themselves patriots are veterans, and they should mind their rhetoric when laying claim to special status.
     True veterans deserve respect, and in some cases, deferential treatment, but few will insist on it.
     The veterans I know drop the petty differences and ignore the political posturing. We had a job to do, and we did it, now all we ask is that those who make big decisions not mess things up too much.
     Differences of opinion are okay with us; the whole idea is to preserve a country where you can disagree without having a coup every four years, instead of an election.
     We tend to prefer to disagree among ourselves, with others who have spent the capital; time, loss or deferral  of personal or career advancement, damaged marriages, old wounds that ache in the night, and some bad dreams now and then. We know a clueless and privileged point of view when we hear one, but we're likely to keep our mouths shut in the presence of people who have not been there and done that to back up their theories.
     One way or another, we all have the T-shirt. We may join the Veterans of Foreign Wars post, or the Legion, and some of us are more active than others, but we all respect those who served.
     And we're not finished serving, although it is often without notice, or proper appreciation. That's okay, we're satisfied to give time and money to student scholarships, youth sports, veterans' hospital patients, widows and families. We go to funerals of men and women who served their country. We console and pay respects to the families, even though we often do not know the people personally.
     Maybe not personally, but we know them. And we salute.
     On Veteran's Day, we pause, salute our brothers and sisters, acknowledge the community expressions of gratitude, and keep the traditions as best we can.
     Not long ago, the image of the veteran was of some grizzled old man from a war before most were born. No longer.
     Now, veterans are women, too, and younger, some living with wounds that would have killed previous soldiers. The mental and emotional prices are going up, too, I would suspect. My father served for the duration of WW2 and came home to resume his life. I served a tour of duty during the Vietnam War; some of my comrades served two tours there, or more. Today's volunteer military may send men and women into harm's way three, four, five or more times.
     Salute.