Fear and loathing as a healthy lifestyle

     You can't go on line without being exposed to an epidemic -- of health risk hysteria.
     No wonder we are scared to death of germs. And viruses. And contaminated food, and medical mistakes and deadly reactions to mixes of medications.
     Just this week, we learn that cantaloupe has made some people sick and killed two. Two.  If it's a loved one, that's really hard to take, but the truth is, you're probably getting sicker every day with stress over stories like these.
     You can never know too much, but you can be exposed to too much bad news. The key is balance.
     Keep it in perspective; don't worry about dying from cantaloupe; you're more likely to get wiped out by another driver on your way to work. As you sit there and read what's on the internet, your arteries are building up clogs that will, after 50 years, give you a heart attack or a stroke.
     Doctors have been telling me for 50 years that smoking my pipe is bad for me.
     Lawyers advertise to get me to come see them because I was exposed to asbestos while serving in the Navy. Let alone the asbestos shingles we used to throw on rocks when we were kids to see them turn to powder. That was when we ran out of thermometers to break open so we could shine nickels and dimes with the mercury.
     I know at least as many people who died trying to lose weight as I do fat people who died because they didn't try.
     Booze will kill you, too, if you drink too much, but then other stories say that alcohol in moderation is good for your arteries. Here's to healthy arteries.
      For years, I took aspirin every day to keep those blood vessels clog-free, which meant that I could eat my bacon and cheese omelets with a clear conscience. Now they say something in aspirin works against the key ingredient in some blood pressure medications, canceling each other out.
      Blood pressure meds have been suspected as a contributing cause of Type 2 diabetes, which requires diet modification and medications which can cause other side effects, like, say, a coma.
     If you're lucky, the meds will only cause kidney damage, leading to dialysis or a transplant, which requires taking anti-rejection meds which cause cancer. If you're unlucky, you get a muscle disease first, grow sore all over, weaker and more crippled, and then you get the kidney failure and the dialysis, especially if you have been easing your arthritis with nsaids painkillers for 20 years.
     The diet for people with high blood sugar is low fat, low glycemic carbohydrates, or, cardboard. Whole wheats and brown rice, beans, nothing white like potatoes or corn or French bread. No fats, like butter. Use those whipped spreads on your brown bread, which soak into it like you've run it under a faucet, and then drink some milk; soy milk, that is.
     When they come out with a soy substitute for bourbon, I may stop drinking. On the other hand, there is that healthy artery thing that one should not give up on too easily....